


Epiphany

by Romanova



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anti-Sharon/Steve, F/M, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 00:37:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6831799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romanova/pseuds/Romanova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set post Civil War. Steve works through his feelings about Sharon and the kiss, then Sam and Clint clue him in on Natasha's feelings for him. (Mentions of Bucky Barnes). Warning: Anti-Sharon/Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Epiphany

“I just don’t know, I shouldn’t have kissed her.” Steve began. The night had been long and it’d only been a week since Bucky went back under. He’d been hopping towns and avoiding people.

“How do you feel about her…?” Natasha trailed off, the small smirk that’d been playing on her lips relaxed.  Thoughts raced in Natasha’s mind, a while ago she’d tried to set Steve up with Sharon. She should have run a background check or something right then, instead of pushing Steve at any cute girl in his life. She chuckled to herself.

“She’s Peggy’s niece…” He trailed off now. This was part of Natasha and Steve’s form of communication a lot of trailing off, they formulated thoughts out loud using the other as a sounding board. But discussing Peggy and his romantic life felt a little weird at all but especially with Natasha.

“I know how much Peggy meant to you.” Natasha prompted.

“In the midst of it all, Peggy just passed away and Sharon was being kind, she was on our side. Something…”

“Do you think… no, never mind.”

“Come on, Nat, you can’t do that.” Steve sat straight on the couch, a beer untouched in front of him.

“Do you think you kissed her… just because she was _reminding you of Peggy_?”  Natasha grinned at him across the coffee table to try to show him she wasn’t judging him at all if that had been his thought.

Steve froze, looking at Natasha, the thought crossed his mind more than once and he pushed it in the back. It felt wrong somehow, so he kept pushing it away. It hadn’t been important in the past week anyway but he felt guilty about it and Natasha knew something was bothering him. “I think so. She has many similar attributes and I barely know her, so maybe it’s that-- plus her loyalty. But I shouldn’t be kissing people out of loyalty.”

Natasha laughed, “Right, or you’d be constantly kissing Sam and Bucky.”

“And Scott probably. Maybe even Clint.” Steve paused. “And I mean… you let Bucky and I go, so.”

“Yep, you’d totally be kissing me.” Natasha raised her glass in mock cheering then took a drink.  “Go on.”

“Well, it’s probably not a good thing to go out with her if the basis of my feelings is just loyalty and familiarity, right?”

“I don’t think I should give input, after all: I’m sort of the one who pressed you to ask women out and she was one I suggested.” Natasha blanched.  The sun was beginning to set and she looked at the time on her phone. Natasha got up. “When is Sam getting in?”

“He should be here soon.”

“I’ll come back by tomorrow. Let me know if you hear anything.” Natasha sighed. Time was both at a standstill and feeling too quick, any moment they could be catapulted into another battle but every day without action felt worse. She was getting antsy, and she could tell Steve was too.

 

 

Sam passed Natasha in the hall, a friendly nod and that was that. They couldn’t pause in hallways too long, they couldn’t stay anywhere too long. But Sam could tell she wasn’t happy, her eyes dropped right after the mutual nod and she picked up her pace.

Inside the apartment that had been rented out under a pseudonym Steve looked similar.

“What, man? We hear something?”

“Nah, not that. Just, heh,”Steve laughed, knowing this drama was much less important than the state of the world but even this got his mind off Bucky for a minute so that was helpful. He just got Bucky back but no one could trust Bucky’s mind, least of all Bucky himself, so out of safety he was frozen again. Steve felt more raw and hopeless about that than anything else in life, he just wanted to help him and get him back. Bucky was the only one with shared life experience, he was a lifelong friend, he was a brother. This paled in comparison but nonetheless: one thinks about small problems when all you have is thinking time.

“What?” Sam walked to the fridge and helped himself to a beer. “Nat left her glass again. _Tsk_.”

“Yea, she, uh,” Steve paused. “Sorry. Um, what’d you ask?”

“You’re not really here, you want some time? Need some sleep?” Sam twisted the cap off the bottle and took a long swig.

“Nah, no, don’t worry about it. Just thinking about that kiss, with Sharon. It was dumb of me, Sam.” Steve began. “I mean I was talking about it with Nat and—“

“What’d Nat say?” Sam walked to where Natasha had been sitting and dropped down.

“She didn’t say much, basically tight-lipped. I think she feels weird cause she was trying to set me up with women and Sharon was one of them and we didn’t know Sharon was Peggy’s niece. And now I feel---“

“I get you.”

“Nat asked if it Sharon reminded me of Peggy and she does and  Peg’s death was still new when I kissed her and I felt camaraderie because of her giving us information and our gear back and now I feel guilty about it all.” Steve got up and closed the blinds, the sun was setting and the glare was blinding.

“Don’t you think it’s a little _obvious_?” Sam laughed.

“What’s obvious?” Steve poured his now warm, untouched beer down the sink and grabbing a bottle of water.

“Nat. She was trying so hard to set you up with other girls. She tryna to shut her mouth now. She helped you and Bucky escape. You guys work really well together. I just kinda think there might be something there.” Sam stated, looking at Steve knowingly. This was something he felt was obvious but he didn’t say anything for two reasons. The first was because Natasha holds cards close to her chest so Sam thought he might be reading it wrong. And second, he thought if she did like Steve their might be a change in team dynamics.

“Are you pulling my leg?” Steve asked, giving his best All-American smile ™.

“Naw, she’s good friends with other Avengers too, Clint is like, what, her best friend but she doesn’t act the same way she does with him with you. She protects you, she wants to set you up with someone so it’d make you happy.”

“Why wouldn’t she just say something?”

“I don’t know, ask Clint.” Sam laughed. “He’d probably know.”  Sam rolled his eyes and took another drink. “High school, man.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Yo.” Clint answered sleepily.

“Hey Barton, any news?” Steve asked, he wasn’t even winded from his morning jog and he was wide awake, Clint on the other hand was awakened by Steve’s phone call. Steve felt a little bad, but hearing Clint curse at stepping on toys made it worth it.

“It’s like six in the morning.” Clint groaned. “It was noisy on networks last night, nothing new—let me check, hold on.”

Steve could hear him rustling in the background. “Sorry about waking you, sleepyhead.”

“I’m surprised the kids hadn’t. Aw, coffee.” Clint said brightly, and Steve could hear clinking of glasses and noises of drinking. “Okay nothing new on networks yet.”

“Too quiet.”

“I agree.”

“Heard from Nat?”

“No, should I have?”

“No, just figured you would.”

“She’ll probably call me later.” Clint let out another yelp of pain. “Fucking legos.”

“Clint, Nat ever talk about me?”

“Like how?”

“Um, I don’t—“

“Rogers, are you asking me if Natasha Romanoff _like-likes_ you?”

“God—I knew this was--”

“A bad idea? Yea, I’m gonna fucking rail on you so hard now, and Nat’s going to crack up…” A pause. “Wait, you _like-like_ her?”

“I, uh--- Sam just said he thought she liked me and I asked why she would set me up with other women, et cetera.” Steve groaned, he was blushing, he felt like a schoolboy: embarrassed and very stupid. Sam was right, this was very high school.

“Alright, dude, chill—Don’t… just don’t tell Nat, I mean if she asks, I would feel like an asshole keeping a secret from her but don’t like tattle ‘ _Clint said blah blah blah_ ’…anyway, Natasha doesn’t really talk about feelings so much, but I know she was setting you up with women to see you happy. But  I mean--- she doesn’t wanna get involved with someone and then be compromised or have to go undercover and leave them high-and-dry, basically. So no, she hasn’t outright said your name when discussing that sort of thing.”

“Oh okay, I get it.”

“I wasn’t done, Rogers. She hasn’t outright said your name, but I can read Nat. I know she’s sweet on you. Do with that what you will, knowing that if you say something it might compromise--- I don’t know, team dynamics or some shit?”

“Yea, yea, I understand.” Steve paused. “Clint? Can you never tell anyone I had this conversation with you?”

“I mean I won’t tell the majority of people in the world, but I don’t know about ‘anyone’.”

“Thanks for that,” Steve laughed.  “Let me know if you hear anything.”

 

He lingered on Nat’s number, wondering whether to dial it but instead he shut the screen off and crossed the floor to do push-ups. A hundred in and he began thinking about all the missions he’d been on with her. Two hundred in and he began thinking about her smile. Three hundred in and he realized that after Peggy Natasha was the most important woman in his life. And Peggy was gone.

350: He realized the swell of pride and happiness when he so much as thought of her.

 400: He thought about his gaze lingering on her even when they had group meetings: when they were at Barton’s farm house, when they were at Stark tower, and on and on.

450: His arms and pecs feeling a slight burn, and he was thinking of how fighting alongside her was like dancing. He realized the loyalty they both had to one another and she’d finally come around to the loyalty he had for Bucky and she understood him.

500: He realized he thought about this before and it was another feeling he pressed back. Steve Rogers: strategist and tactician in battle but in emotion…this was wholly different.

573: Instead of continuing he paused, pressed his body back into child’s pose and then bounced up on his feet.  When he had stopped he realized out of the few people he couldn’t live without Natasha was one of them.


End file.
